What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
I consider it an honor to have the family I have. Yet, at the same time, I think the right friends are important as well. The way we all think and feel is different. To conceptualize and truly experience life through a different lens has given me perspective.
Those experiences have taught me that sobriety and discernment are key, as well as good friends who share the same goals of peace, respect, decency and understanding. I think it is a terrible thing to not take accountability for one’s actions.
In my life, my experiences show I am not very good at handling grief and coping with the stigmas attached to the regrets of my youth. Each day I ascribe to the notion that there is a higher power.
That respect and trust are earned. That the period of my life that has been so painful, I learn to get past. Yet you can only forgive someone so many times. You can only be nice so many times before another person takes advantage of you.
I always visualize going into any relationship as a mutual agreement that sometimes we don’t all agree. I can’t be around certain toxic situations like gossip and slander. I enjoy deep conversations and connections with real people who understand that sometimes silence and privacy are precious to me.
The comfort of security and abiding by the rules of dignity that we all, from different families, adhere to. I can live with my faults. I can learn to cope with those faults.
Yet I agree with the notion that hypocrisy and telling another person how they should live their life is wrong. Everyone has a purpose in life. Finding my purpose in life has been an arduous journey.
Standing up for what is right is difficult for me because I know that in my life I have made many mistakes and have regrets. Pride and confidence are great things. Yet pride, as exemplified in the Bible, can be seen as a negative quality. Humility is important.
To be humble and admit when we are wrong goes a long way. I believe in the Biblical concept that truth shall set you free. I am a person who enjoys tenderness and kindness. Maturity is difficult for me to define because sometimes things I feel can be held over my head, as if to say, “Well, I know you are…, but you are also this because of it.”
Having this kind of attitude, assuming someone’s motives, is wrong. Thinking you know what another person is thinking is wrong. That’s why it is important to be frank and honest about who you are. Having a long life means, to me, recognizing your own reality.
You have to get up in the morning and look yourself in the mirror. Deflecting your faults and pain onto someone else is wrong. I think accepting a person for what they have been through, by openly communicating genuine feelings, is important. Egocentric personalities I find difficult to keep up with because the conversation is always one-sided. When someone interrupts you constantly, in the middle of a sentence, it is a bad sign and a red flag to me.
When a person disrespects a person without accepting their own faults, it frustrates me. Life is not a game. It is to be taken seriously. You have to have a sense of humor about yourself first and learn the role of friendship and it’s values.
Cooperation and communication are important in a relationship. Superficialialty is a bad personality trait to me. I think a person proud of their bodies is a good perspective, but humility is greater in my opinion. Looking nice, keeping honest with yourself is important as well. I try to help and be nice to a person before they turn into someone who thinks they can take advantage of another’s persons struggles without knowing what they’ve experienced themselves.
I need good friends with those same values. Someone to laugh with. Someone to be happy with and share positive things. Someone to keep me level and remind me when I do something wrong in a kind and positive way.
After all that I’ve been through I think it’s a miracle I am alive. I believe I am living proof there is a god. I pray and have a conscious. I am thankful and grateful. I try not to complain, yet I would hope a person would be honest with themselves and realize that real trauma in a person’s life has be dealt with delicately, tenderly and in a healthy way.
Progress Inward & Abroad 
4 responses to “Humility Is Key”
Hmmmm. I’ll respectfully disagree, I believe respect should be automatically given to each and every person. Nobody should have to earn being treated with dignity. This doesn’t mean that we can’t lose respect for a person through their actions. It also does not mean that we should not have boundaries. Trust takes time to build, but I also don’t see it as something that needs to be earned. It is a mutual journey between two people. At least that’s how I see it. When my children were growing up, I never once said to them that my respect for them must be earned. Likewise with trust. I never said they needed to earn my trust. Of course we were lucky our kids never strayed far from home. I still can’t stand the idea of saying that to a child. It is about keeping them safe, for sure. I hope I’m not nitpicking about your post. I agree with most of everything you’ve said. I might be overly opinionated atm. Feel free to disregard, lol!
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Hey, thanks for getting back to me. I’m glad you had some thoughts on my initial idea. I’m really curious about how people see forgiveness and how to express that. It’s such a big concept, and there are so many ways to think about it. I’m working on something related to this, and your input would be super valuable. And actually please, at your leisure. Your point is well taken. Thanks again for responding.
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OK, I’ll do my best. For me, forgiveness has become so much easier since I started believing that everything we are is dictated by determinism. Meaning, ultimately, nobody is morally responsible. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t maintain boundaries. And it also doesn’t mean that dangerous people who harm others should not be held accountable.
I believe we are each made to be exactly who we are. Even the garbage people like Trump can’t help being garbage. Our DNA, our childhoods, our trauma, and every single individual experience, mold us into the people we are. Not to mention various disabilities and mental illness. As well as brain damage from who knows what kind of abuse.
So! It is my view that some will be more evolved and mentally healthy, some will not be. We are all existing in different states of being. Okay. So I had a lot of anger towards my dad. I won’t get into why. I know he will never make amends for what he has done, nor will he accept responsibility for his actions. I have no choice but to accept this. I also know how my dad was severely damaged as a child. How is mother neglected all her children, how she was narcissistic. How dad was working to provide. All the brothers were left to their own devices. My uncle basically raised my dad. Also they escaped the war in Germany to come to Canada. My dad was severely bullied in school so he quit.
I also know of other traumas he experienced. So I guess I just realize that he can’t really help being who is. Also mildly schizophrenic as well. All these things make me see my dad in a different light.
It doesn’t mean I sometimes don’t feel the pain of things that happened. I believe in intergenerational trauma. Maybe I was less damaged than he was so I didn’t pass it down to my own children. Maybe that is a privilege I have. To be able to have raised my children in a different way because my mind was less damaged from trauma than my dad’s was.
And now, if my dad is unkind, which is not often, I respond back with kindness and diplomacy. I do the opposite of what I have previously done which is lose my shit completely. Crying, shaking, trying to fight back. Seeing my dad as a flawed human, as we all are flawed in our own way, has helped me to react more rationally. And I have let go of a great deal of the anger I once had. I also see his goodness as well. I kind of have a more detached attitude now too. It comes with time and realizing their mind is basically fucked up. And I’m a lot wiser than him, so I feel superior, rather than inferior. It’s not a flex. I just think I’m a better person than he is. Maybe I was able to finally process my trauma.
Don’t get me wrong. It has taken decades to come to this point where I am now. I’m so exhausted from my life and all the secondary trauma that resulted from the initial trauma. I’m done with all of it now. I just want to try and be as happy as I can be for the rest of the years I have left. My dad is dying, and I would like to have some moments of meaningful connection with him before the end. That is all I want from him now, is some time to just be together and remember the good times, which there were good times too. I’m not sure I’ve been any help, it is only my perspecive and what has worked for me. I wish you the best of luck with forgiveness 🩷
Also remember that forgiveness is more for yourself than the person who has hurt you. It’s a way for you to be able to let go. It doesn’t even mean that you should be around the person, especially if they haven’t changed. It is for you, and you alone. That energy was leaches from us us. That anger and resentment isn’t hurting them, it is hurting us.
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Your insights are truly valuable and thought-provoking. The depth of your analysis is impressive, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of complex concepts. Your ability to articulate these ideas with such clarity is commendable. It’s evident you possess a sharp intellect and a gift for insightful observation. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
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